A Broom Cupboard and Proposal
by PenonPaperFingersonKeys
Summary: The Marauders are put in a compromising situation when James decides to surprise Lily by jumping out of a broom cupboard, the other three closely following. Includes a diaster wrecking James and a last minute proposal. All dialogue, pure silliness.


**A Broom Cupboard and Proposal**

"This wasn't well thought out."

"No shit."

"Why would you say that, Prongs? Because of the fact that we're sitting in a broom cupboard waiting for Filch to go away?"

"Yes, that's it Moony! You're a genius."

"And you're an illiterate who's never heard of sarcasm."

"I've heard of it, Moony, I just prefer not to believe it."

"You're both idiots. Shut up. Now, what the hell is sticking in my back! It's rather irritating!"

"Shmmmiiieeelllwwwooobbb."

"What!"

"It's – It's my elbow, Padfoot."

"I didn't even notice you were here, Wormtail. Sorry."

"Apology accepted, Prongs."

"Now that you two have successfully shared a girly moment may I ask how this happened?"

"Well, at first it was just James-stalking-Lily and then it was a prank and Filch nearly caught us. Pretty simple."

"Thank you, Moony."

"That's alright, Padfoot."

"Speaking of which, I was – Ah! What the hell is that! God Peter, is your hand touching my ass?"

"Sorry Prongs! I didn't mean it! I don't think about you like that…I promise!"

"Sure Wormtail, sure."

"I don't."

"Well don't ever touch _there_ again."

…

"Can you hear something?"

"Girls voices?"

"The absence of a cats meow?"

"_Lily Evans_!"

"How the hell did he know that?"

"I have no clue Padfoot. I think it's the result of many stalking hours. The creep."

"Hey, James, we didn't say you could open the cupboard…This is a compromising position –"

"Hey Lily!"

"Wh-What? Were you in a broom cupboard with…Remus, Sirius and Peter?"

"Look Lily, it's not what it looks like-"

"Yeah! We were having a jolly old time!"

"You idiot Prongs! My reputation is now put at stake by these girls because you practically admitted we were fraternizing in the cupboard."

"You were fraternizing? I didn't know you understood such big words, Mr Black."

"Shut up, Dorcas."

"Sorry Mr. I-go-into-broom-cupboards-with-three-guys-because-I'm-a-kinky-bastard."

"Excuse me, I think we should have a say in this. I am not a homosexual. Especially not with Sirius Black. He probably has diseases from how many girls he's shagged."

"And that's the admission from a jealous lover."

"What the hell James!"

"You're supposed to be on our side!"

"But we all know here that Potter's right."

"See! Lily agrees with me!"

"Now we see where your loyalties lie. Obviously you will ridicule your friends to catch a girl's attention. Low, Potter, low."

"Get over it Black."

"I thought we were practically brother, Prongs!"

"Wouldn't that mean incest?"

"Shut it Dorcas!"

"Feisty…"

"But…Lily, you know that I would never cheat on you for these prats!"

"We were never together Potter – it can't be classified as cheating."

"Can it be classified as cheating if you secretly have feelings for me deep in your heart?"

"No, that counts as jealousy."

"Well you're jealous."

"No I'm not."

"Yes she is."

"Yes she is."

"Yes she is."

"Yes she is."

"Yes she is."

"No I'm not!"

"Look, Lily, you can admit you like me – I'd be happy to hear the words."

"Look Potter, get it through your skull that I don't like you."

"What if I proposed?"

"WHAT?"

"Huh?"

"What are you talking about James?"

"…"

"You're insane."

"James, you're seventeen. You can't propose."

"I suppose I can't. Thanks Remus."

"Thank god."

"I don't have a ring!"

"Idiot!"

"Agreed Padfoot."

"Hey, Evans looks kind of pale."

"Lily! Don't pass out!"

"Grab her quickly!"

"…"

"When I say grab her, Black, I mean catch her not let her fall to the ground and perhaps gain a coma."

"Yeah whatever, Dorcas. Anyway, where's James?"

"He went to get the ring."

"Oh Melin. Want me to get him Moony?"

"Yeah. You probably should."

"Well, I'll see you ladies and gentlemen later. Ta ta!"

"See you, Black. Lupin get down here and help me revive Lily. You too Pettigrew."

"Okay Dorcas."

"Yes sir."

"You don't have to call me sir, Pettigrew."

"Sorry si- Dorcas."

* * *

_A/N: Short silly dialogue that makes no sense. I tried to include Peter but I liked the ending where he called her sir at the end :-D Wrote in a few minutes and edited shabbily. Hopefully it's okay. I'll probably take it down…_


End file.
